How to Heal Yourself After A Bad Break Up
You don’t always have to forgive and forget.
You’ve been done wrong, and there’s no changing that. No amount of good deeds can nullify what has been done to you. But letting it drag on can be very toxic.
So what do you do? You let go. You let go of the past that haunts you every night before you sleep. You let go for the sake of your future self who dreads what lies up ahead, waiting to face the consequence that the present you make.
But if you don’t heal from what hurt you, you’ll bleed on people who didn’t cut you. Your wounds will forever carry the memory of where it’s been. But this does not excuse you from bringing your frustrations on others.
Letting go hurts because you are letting a part of yourself. You’re undoing the changes you made to accommodate your past flame. Every step of the way, you feel the phantom pain of the missing half.
While letting go is part of the process, it doesn’t lessen your hurt. It takes courage to walk away from someone who used to be a big part of your life. It also takes courage to face your inner demons and find a better life for yourself.
From there, you can start the healing process. Here’s what you should do next:
1. Know your reasons for moving on.
Do you want the pain to stop? Are you doing it because those close to you don’t want to deal with you anymore? Or is it because you crave to feel loved?
When you think from a critical point of view, the situation starts to make sense to you. You’ll have better control of yourself and finding answers will be much easier. You start to see why you’re better without them.
It’s like how you can easily give sound advice, but have a hard time applying it to yourself. Your mind is clear from any of the stress that comes with the situation.
When you start being aware of the situation you put yourself and your surroundings in, the better you can come up with an action plan for yourself
2. Put yourself first
Sometimes, losing someone is all it takes to find yourself.
The pain may not have been necessary, but you learn from it. Now that you know better, you can make wiser choices moving forward.
This is the time that you can also make discoveries about yourself. What are the things that made you dislike your last partner? What are your needs in a relationship?
Get to know yourself. Work on the things that need to be improved. Allow yourself the time to think things through.
Allow your intuition to guide you — it knows what it’s doing.
3. Don’t rush the process
Know your capabilities and limits. Don’t pick up the pace just because the people around you are pressuring you to get over your ex.
If you are still struggling to let go, then don’t push it. You’ll bleed the more you force yourself.
Sometimes your progress will stagnate. We all experience this at some point. But with one step back follows three steps forward.
Don’t let your progress demotivate you. Give yourself some credit for having made it. You’ll feel a lot more motivated to keep on.
Making a change for yourself.
In your own time you will heal. You will be able to walk the path towards happiness fearlessly.
When you do, you’ll be looking back at your past self and thanking them. If it weren’t for them, you wouldn’t have made it that far.
If this article helped you, check out our other articles on dating and relationships at china-brides.com/blog.
